Hello, I hope you are doing fine. Wait, have I followed the right format? Have I bothered myself with useless salutations? (We both know that your situation does not affect me in any way). If the answer is yes, then I have followed the right procedure. If you were to write back to me, you would say the universal lie: ‘I’m fine’. Excuse me, I am sorry if I come across as rude. Actually, I have no apologies for that. In my world, being polite is the rudest you could ever be. Why? It is said that politeness is veiled deception. It is way better to be blunt if you ask me. It saves precious time and energy.
I almost forgot to mention I am the inventor of Time Travel Machine (TTM). My wife, daughter and I decided to travel from 3017 to your time, 2017, just for purposes of, you know, testing the equipment. Scrap that. I came here to experience life in your age. I have always wanted to see how people lived in the past so you can imagine my excitement when I managed to come up with TTM. My Eureka moment.
We were so excited. But you can only be excited for so long. When we landed in 2017, there was so much… what’s the name? Oh yes! Sound. Noise. Oh, the horror! My daughter sent us multiple crying emojis. We panicked. I tried consoling my daughter by typing to her words of comfort. It is at that moment that my wife made a breathtaking discovery. Covering your ears helps to lessen the noise.
Okay, I know I lost you with the typing and the sending of emojis. Let me break it down. In the world of 3017, human beings communicate not by speech, but by typing! It is a silent world.We laugh by sending laughing emojis, we cry by sending crying emojis. We fight wars online, we meet online. Babies do not learn how to talk, but how to type. Musicians sing by typing the musical notes.
I live in a world where weddings are officiated online. We attend weddings when we are in the comfort of our own homes. By attending I mean joining an online group dubbed wedding. The pastor types, “You may now kiss the bride.” The groom sends kissing emojis and the bride reciprocates. The ‘congregation’ then sends clapping emojis. Husband and wife are pronounced!
I live in a world where the president types his speech. Where teachers teach while typing the concepts. Where there are no secrets. You may think that you have communicated to a pal using a highly secured server, only for someone to hack it and broadcast it to the world. I live in a world where people type whatever comes in their mind, and do not care about the feelings of others.
Believe it or not, some people surgically remove their ears in 3017. Why? The only use of those ugly oval protuberances we call ears is to add unnecessary weight to the head. However, we have noted with a lot of concern that those who cut off their ears tend to topple over a lot of times. *Chuckles*
For the first time in a long time, I cried (sent crying emojis). I cried when I saw people of 2017 communicate by talking. I have never seen something so beautiful! The merry laughter, the singing, the beautiful changes in voice intonation; these are things we have never heard of in my world! To speak, oh such a wonderful thing!
So my wife and I tried to imitate you. However hard we tried, not a sound was heard. This angered me. You know who I blame for this misfortune? You. You and the people of your generation. Yes, you heard me right. The moment you let technology supersede human interaction is the moment when we lost everything. Because of you, people of our age will never experience the delights of one on one conversations.
(My identity is not of importance)